Catharsis
by Jayden Scott
Summary: Shepard is dead. And Liara betrayed her. After giving her body to Cerberus, Liara returns to Omega. A dark, angsty take on how Liara deals with her grieving and guilt. Aria/Liara, mature and adult themes.


**Another kmeme fill.**

**Takes place after Liara gives Cerberus Shepard's body, 's definitely on the darker side of things, definitely much darker than I usually take things. I mean, it broke my feels a little to write, just to give you an idea. In fact, I don't think I even like this fic, but I think that means it accomplished what I was trying to do. Angst, BDSM, etc. If you hear the crack of a whip, you're in the ballpark. Consider yourself warned.**

**Oh, and all mistakes are mine. I wrote this fairly quickly.**

* * *

She did not know why she returned to Omega.

Liara had been in a haze since she left the Cerberus facility, since she had left Shepard's remains with Cerberus, with Miranda Lawson. Her body went through the motions of their own accord: powering up the ship, guiding it through the relay, checking navigation, measurements, calculating distances. She flew the ship manually, so her hands were occupied even though her mind was not. The intricacies of piloting only vaguely registered in her mind.

She felt numb; worse, she felt empty, like a husk, as if she existed in name and appearance only. Her skin felt as if it were not her own. Try as she did, she could not force herself to take register of what she actually felt besides dazed. There was nothing beyond the pain that rushed in to fill the void where Liara used to be. Nothing but a dull ache and two whispered thoughts that kept repeating over and over in her head, like an automated warning system.

Shepard was dead. And she had been the one to turn her body over to the one organization that embodied all that the commander stood against, out of selfishness.

The asari wasn't sure why she had directed the ship towards Omega, but once she had docked, once her feet carried her through the winding, dirty streets, part of her recognized the appropriateness. The entire asteroid-city appeared as if it was lit by garish neon signs and primitive oil lamp. The air tasted like lawlessness and exhaust, synthetic and unclean. The people, if not blatantly criminal, were apathetic, as if hope itself had been criminalized. Morality was subjective on Omega where the reigning law was self-preservation and self-fulfillment.

The streets were dirty, lined in garbage and waste. The bulkheads were slick with soot. Even Afterlife, the most elaborate establishment on Omega, smelled of smoke, spilled booze, and hedonism.

Omega was filthy, seedy, and that felt… correct to Liara.

Her feet carried her through the club, only a vague part of her registering the many asari maidens stripping and dancing while patrons drank and whistled and hooted lewd things at them, at Liara. She walked up the stairs to the dais, where she was escorted by armed guards to the stand in front of the self-proclaimed Queen of Omega.

"Well, this is a surprise. Liara T'soni." Aria's lips twisted into a smile that lacked any warmth, any reassurance. "I didn't expect to see you again, doctor." The way she said Liara's title was like an insult, but Liara did not notice.

"Shepard is dead." She whispered, and wondered why she was here, why she had come to Aria. She refused to meet the other asari's eyes.

Aria arched a delicate brow, ruining the symmetry of her facial markings. "I thought everyone already knew that."

Liara stayed silent. She had known Shepard was dead, at least a part of her did. But the reality of holding the broken body in her arms, of feeling the scant weight of lifelessness, of seeing the damage wrought upon her body, had made her truly realize it. In her mind, Shepard was a titan, a giant, as strong and mythical as the Protheans. Being subject to such mortal frailty seemed impossible, until Liara witnessed it for herself. But how could she articulate that to Aria, and more importantly, why would she? Aria was not a sympathetic ear, a compassionate friend.

"I gave her body to Cerberus." Liara said instead.

Aria leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "Again, wasn't that the point? Better them have your girlfriend than the Collectors right? T'soni, tell me you didn't come here just to blather on about things I already know. Or things you should know I don't give a salarian fuck about." She scrutinized Liara when she didn't answer, trying to puzzle out the younger asari's motives for being here. "Why are you really here?"

Finally, Liara raised her eyes from her feet and looked at Aria. "I don't know." She whispered, as if ashamed by the confession. But Aria recognized it in her eyes, pain, depthless pain which was surprising. Surely, the little asari knew better than to come to Aria seeking comfort? That could not be it. No one was that stupid. Intrigued, Aria reached out with her mind, eyes rolling over from dark blue to black, without asking permission.

Surprisingly, after a moment's shocked hesitation, Liara allowed her in, and their minds became one. Guilt was the first thing Aria felt through the meld, so acute she gasped with the almost physical pain of it. Overwhelming and smothering, it was like drowning, gasping at the surface for breath only to be dragged back down. There was pain too, grief and loss on the periphery, as poignant as the guilt but not yet at the forefront.

In Liara's mind, Aria saw Shepard as she had been in life: smiling, gentle, compassionate, so genuinely… good it made Aria's teeth ache. She witnessed their first night together, all softness and whispered promises. She saw the principled, selfless commander who never sacrificed her values, no matter what her personal feelings had been. She saw Liara's motives for handing over Shepard's body to Cerberus, selfish. She wanted her lover back.

Curiosity not quite sated, she pushed deeper, further surprised that Liara offered no resistance. She explored Liara's desires. She had not come to Omega seeking comfort or compassion, a subconscious part of Liara's mind realized that she would not come to Aria if that was what she wanted. She wanted something deeper, more visceral. Something that Liara lacked the language to articulate, but felt that she deserved.

Aria withdrew from Liara's mind, but not before she let her feel Aria's acceptance, agreement. Her lips twisted into a wicked grin and she stood, beckoning the young asari to follow her. There was a door at the rear of the dais, and she gestured her henchmen aside. There was an apartment behind the dais, a place she kept for my private meetings.

Liara followed her inside, her heart tripping over itself in trepidation in direct contradiction to the calm acceptance that settled over her like a warm blanket. The door closed behind her, a tumbling of mechanical parts as it locked. And in an instant, she felt her shoulders slam against the door as Aria pinned her, mouth hungrily seeking hers.

Clinging to the pain of her shoulders striking the hard metal of the door, Liara parted her lips. Shepard's kisses had always been gentle and patient, soft and bearing nothing but adoration and respect. Aria was different. Her kiss was tongue and lips taking rather than asking, teeth nipping at Liara's lower lip. The kiss was rough, demanding, and Liara submitted to it.

* * *

The rough fiber of the rope was coarse, like everything on Omega, and dug into Liara's wrists painfully. She was not so much as bound, rather supported by the length of rope coiled around her wrists, arms pulled over head and tied to a hook in the ceiling, keeping her erect. Liara leaned into the rope, grateful it's support, it's abrasion of her skin that provided a welcome, momentary distraction from the tearing pain of her back, buttocks, and thighs.

Her entire body felt too alive, as if all of her senses had launched into overdrive. Her skin was too sensitive, and she felt everything more acutely. It was the result of the shared orgasms she had already experienced through the meld. Orgasms she had given Aria, on her knees, her face forced in between Aria's legs, spurred on by the vulgar images and lewd words shared over the meld, which was now only partially active, partially blocked so that Aria could not feel the echo of pain as the leather strap whistled down yet again and cracked against Liara's skin.

Liara cried out, but arched her back to meet the bite of the strap. Shame flushed her cheeks as violet as the abused skin on her backside. This was what she deserved. She imagined that she wasn't on Omega any longer, but on the Normandy, that instead of bound to the ceiling she leaned over the desk or bed, her fingers gripping at the hard surface struggling not to break her position each time the strap found its mark. It became Shepard behind her, wielding the strap and berating her for her selfishness. And the ache, the need between her legs only intensified. Wetness ran down her inner thighs, cooling in the environmentally controlled air. A part of her loved this, and Liara was disgusted with herself.

Aria must have sensed these images. The whipping stopped long enough for her to cup Liara's sex, to feel the dampness. "I know you're enjoying this." Liara whimpered at the touch that was too much and not enough at once. Aria was still fully clothed though she was naked, and the scrape of her leather jacket against her back was abrasive. "You're getting off on being punished."

Liara didn't answer, could not answer even as Aria withdrew again. She was powerless, subject to Aria's whim, to her pleasure. She was nothing but something to be used. She submitted to whatever came to her, to whatever Aria wanted, thought she needed. Aria's words only deepened her shame, which only made Liara grateful, as she reminded herself that this was what she needed.

The strap landed again, this time across her ass, and Liara yelped. "You've been selfish, Liara. And you need to be punished." Aria said, deliberately playing off the images already in the younger asari's mind. "Are you sorry?"

Traitor. Selfish. She had betrayed Shepard even in death. She should be punished. This was good for her. "Yes, teach me to be better."

"I will. I'll help you get better." And it wasn't Aria's voice that Liara heard, but the commander's, firm and comforting all at once. Liara relaxed into it, acceptance once again settling over her.

The strap landed again and again, and each time Liara cried out with pleas and promises, apologies. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I'll be better… I promise." She was exhausted, her body finally at its limits, the pulse of desire throbbing now almost painfully. She needed release, not just physical but emotional. She could feel herself breaking, and she began to beg.

The rope supporting her suddenly gave as Aria unwound it with her biotics, but the queen of Omega caught Liara before her legs could buckle. "We aren't done yet," She whispered roughly in her ear, and in a moment, Liara felt her front pressed against the nearest wall and Aria pressed painfully against her back.

The wall was cool against her cheek, and she felt Aria reach in between their legs, unzipping her trousers. And in another moment, Aria was inside of her thrusting, and the meld became fully active again. She felt the shadow of pleasure between Aria's legs as the synthetic phallus pumped into her, her own pleasure flare behind her eyes, course through her body.

Her breasts pressed uncomfortably against the wall with each of Aria's relentless thrusts, and Liara moaned out loud. "Is this what you need?" Aria asked in her mind.

This was what she needed; she needed to be used. "I want to be your good girl. Make me your good girl again, Shepard." She replied without words. She felt Aria's grunt of surprise, but it was lost in the dual sensations of being taken and taking, of being filled and roughly claimed, of being swept away in climax without pause, and forced over the edge of another. Her inner muscles clenched. Liara came, and screamed the human's name, the shuddering aftershocks giving way to tremulous sobs.

Astonishingly, Aria held her even after she pulled out, supporting her as Liara's body finally gave out. Liara wept for herself, wept for the loss of Shepard, of her lover, of all the things they were supposed to be together. She cursed herself for not being able to let go, to let her rest in peace. But she hadn't been ready to let go yet, she still wasn't. Cerberus might have her body, but Liara kept her heart. The tears streamed down her face unchecked, and she gasped for the breath that the sobs robbed her of. Despondency returned, but it was no longer colored with guilt, at least not as strongly.

She wanted to lie on the dirty Omega floor, to not rouse herself. Without Shepard, who was she supposed to be? She could not return to poking around ancient ruins, prodding the lifeless fragments of a long dead civilization. The whipping, the fucking, had broken through Liara's numbness, and feeling and emotion swept in, overwhelming her. She cried harder, feeling all that which she had held back from feeling before, experienced the reality of it.

The meld was still active, Liara was surprised to find as Aria's consciousness gently prodded at hers, coaxing her out of her thoughts. They were on the floor, Aria seated on her knees with Liara half-resting in her lap, curled into a ball and hugging her knees to her chest. "You can't keep beating yourself up like this." Aria commented, the brief flash of compassion quickly replaced by her cold practicality. "It's fucking pathetic."

"What do you know?" Liara responded, suddenly feeling defiant. Just because she had submitted to Aria in a moment of weakness, did not give her the right to tell her what to do. This had been something she needed, an act of desperation, of catharsis that Liara needed and Aria had given her. Nothing more. "You, who loves no one?"

Aria scoffed and pushed her unceremoniously off her lap and stood. "Stupid. You think Shepard would want you to go on pissing and moaning like a child? The way I see it you have two choices."

"Oh?" Liara caught the clothes that Aria threw at her, and began tugging them on, hissing with pain as the fabric grazed her thighs and backside.

"Yeah. You can spend the rest of your life crying. Or you can move on, hope Cerberus works their magic and brings your lover back." Aria leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest as she watched Liara dress, fake penis still hanging from her unzipped trousers, still glistening with both her and Liara's wetness. "If she does come back, what do you think she wants to find? A girlfriend who just moaned about her for years? Or a woman who picked herself up and did the right thing?"

Liara considered the shirt in her hands. As much as it pained her to admit it, there was truth in Aria's words, no matter how crude. She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. That had been what this was all about, hadn't it? Atonement? So that she could push past the numbness, move past all the guilt, reconcile herself with her actions? Feel something besides remorse and emotional pain? Shepard had always been so proud of her; she even said so. Would she be proud of her now?

No, she would have to work to earn that pride. She would have to become someone that Shepard would be capable of being proud of again, and that was not a scared asari girl who surrendered to self-pity. Slowly, she pulled on the shirt, followed it with her jacket and boots. Neither asari spoke to one another. Liara moved to the door.

"Th-thank you." She whispered, stopping just short of leaving.

Snorting, Aria shrugged as if dismissing the matter as unimportant, but as Liara raised her hand to open the door, Aria stopped her. "If you need another lesson, a reminder, you know where Omega is." Wordlessly, Liara nodded and left. For all the world, despite the gruffness of her words, the mercilessness of her actions, for a brief moment, it sounded as if the queen of Omega were sympathetic.

But, Liara shook her head as she descended from the dais, ignoring the stares and leers of the henchmen and bodyguards, that was unlikely. Aria had gotten what she wanted, that was all. And it was better that way; Liara did not want compassion or pity, and had not come to Omega for it.

* * *

**Okay. I need a cuddle. Internet snuggles and feedback will be accepted in lieu of real cuddles. Don't let the Reapers win.**


End file.
